"...we would have eaten dirt..."

Friday, May 15, 1863, Richmond, Virginia

It has been several days since I have been able to hold a pen in my hand to write anything  heard here. I have been so unsteady that some would think me drunk.It was during our last morning's march before we arrived with our prisoners in Richmond. Lieutenant Stover had been recently released from the hospital and caught up with the company where he shared the news with us. Our Jackson, our, "Stonewall, had expired. It was not the Yankee bullets that killed him, nor the amputation. It was pnewmonn pneumonia that layed the great general low.

Our fight for independence has been made more difficult but we still have Lee and Hill, once the latter recovers from his wounds and we pray that he does. Lieutenant Stover has been absent from the company ever since he was wounded at Sharpsburg in September. Now that he is back, he replaces Lieutenant Williamson as commander of the company. 

When we listened to the news about our Jackson, several of the Yankee prisoners were near enough by to hear what was being said. We observed some of them to be smiling and they heard some of us cock the hammers of our muskets. The smiles vanished. I heard some of our people  painfully crying . I will admit to being affected and was glad that I still posessed a hankerc handkerchief. 

We have surrendered our charges to the Provost Marshall and we learn that the regiment will be able to spend  some time in Richmond. There are so many prisoners to guard that we have to help the Marshall's people. As the numbers shrank, parts of the regiment were allowed the freedom of the city so long as the "freedom" did not extend beyond a nearby park. We were ordered not to get curious and go beyond the boundrys of the park as the regiment would return with all haste to the army once our duties were done here.

One might have tried to hold back the ocean tide with a broom. Men scattered all over when no one was looking. Not wishing to walk another step, I stayed in the park. We were approached by many of the citizenry who inquired with great feeling as to the details of the great battle. We were not a little embarassed to say that we heard pleanty but saw almost nothing. They were disappointed that we could tell them so little. They were no more disappointed than were we.

Some of the capitol's residents brought us small gifts for, "their boys". I remember the food riots and how the participants said they were starving for want of food. With one or two exceptions, the women who shared with us looked thin and pastly. There were few men who visited and most of them were fat as ticks. One woman gave us one egg. Another gave us two loaves of soft bread that had ceased to be soft some time ago. They apologized for such meager offerings. We smiled and gave them our sincere thanks. Had they offered it, we would have eaten dirt.

My gunboats are completely blown out and I am not alone. It is much too late for us to be returning to the army tonight. If I am lucky, some of us may visit the South Carolina storehouse and get replacements, perhaps even replenish our haversacks.

How can Lee replace our Jackson, and Hill if it comes to that? 


I Send You These Few Lines

How, indeed, will Lee replace Jackson? The pool of talent that can be drawn on to replace the fallen is shrinking faster than it can be replenished. Lee may find someone to fill the empty slot but replacement will not be possible. There is but one Jackson.

Captain N. B. Vanlandingham had raised the company called, "Lancaster Hornets", and later resigned his commission. Lieutenant William Stover took over command of the company but was not promoted to the captaincy. After Stover was wounded at Sharpsburg (Antietam to our Yankee friends), Lieutenant James S. Williamson took over the running of the company.

All Stover, Williamson and Tooms know is that the handing over of prisoners needs to be completed quickly. The regiment needs to rejoin Lee soon. Something could be happening and having missed one battle, missing the next one would be terrible. It could be a big one.