"They were named Lily and Hortense"

Thursday,  August 2, 1862, Richmond

For three days, now, I have been useless to anyone including myself. There is no one to blame but this poor soul who knew better. There was too much temptation and I, weak, puny man that I am, succumbed and must pay the price.

Hancock indulged in the same bill of fare at the hotel that I did and he seems just superb for it. There is no doctor here at the depot but there was one across the street at the Georgia Relief and Hospital Association's own depot on the same street and that is where this whole trouble began some days ago with two women.

Hancock and I were standing outside our depot, under arms. Ever since we four arrived here, we noticed the number of women, and a few girls, come and go from the Georgia & c. depot. Of course, we thought, they were employed there in some sort of capacity benefitting their depot. On occasion, one of a party would wave and haloo to us. We snapped to attention and tried to look very martial. We talked of things that men talk about but they have no place here. We resolved ourselves that a simple greeting from a lady would be all the conversation we would have from them.

Then the cattle stampeded. It was the twenty-fifth of last month. Hancock and I had finished out first guard mount of the day and were walking away from our depot towards the center of the city again in search of a decent meal. As we walked, Hancock observed what he said were the sounds of many cattle. I thought him suffering from hunger in the brain and told him such as I heard nothing. As we continued to walk, I thought that I did hear some such noise but dismissed it even as Hancock insisted that the sounds were actual.

We turned a corner and came face-to-fave with a drove of cattle. Hancock exclaimed loudly, "Tooms, we have died and gone to Heaven. This is our reward, all ours." I muse admit a certain feeling of disbelief but the sounds and especially the smells could not be denied. The idea that we might soon have fresh beef made us ignore the two ladies walking towards us.

It was evident that both of them were uncomfortable with the close proximity of the cattle. The drove did have a "cavalry escort" but even so, some of the beeves were unruly. One of the ladies screamed and her scream did nothing to pacify the cattle. The two ladies walked faster and broke into a trot when one of the beeves strode upon the sidewalk right behind them. The ladies were probably in no danger but they did not know that.

Hancock slapped my shoulder and we ran towards the ladies. I grabbed one and threw her against a building wall perhaps a bit too hard. I interposed myself between the lady and the "horrible, brutish creature", as she called it and gave the future roast a good kick in the snoot and it turned away. Hancock performed some similar feat of rescue for the other lady.

After the cattle passed us by, we inquired about their well-being. They were both quite scared but said there was no harm done. I thought these ladies must have been raised in the city as country girls would not have acted like they did.. We made our introductions and they made theirs. They were named Lily and Hortense. As it turned out, these two were some of those we had seen previous working at the Georgia depot. We all laughed when they realized who we were, guards at the South Carolina Depot.

Hortense and Lily wished to express their thanks for being rescued and we said it was nothing. They insisted that such a deed of bravery committed by two gallant gentlemen should not go unrewarded. They mentioned that there was too be a charity ball held at the Exchange Hotel on Saturday night next and would we be their guests. A ball. Dancing and refreshments. Pretty ladies. O, but we were just high privates and balls were for officers and gentlemen with clean clothes and white gloves. We stated our plight but they would have none of it. If we could not attend as guests, we could be there as smart-looking guards at the entrance to the ballroom. We agreed and escorted the ladies a short distance before parting company.

We forgot that the original objective of our walk was to relieve our hunger and we returned to the depot to tell of our good fortune. Castles, Duncan and Chambers all said we were liars but Duncan noticed the smell of honeysuckle on Hancock and then they started to believe us. We excused ourselves as there was much work to do before the ball.

 Both our uniforms and our bodies needed sprucing up. My uniform required some sewing but not a great deal. Hancock convinced Castles to loan him his own jacket as it was in better shape. Castles was promised something good to eat for the loan. We "borrowed" two pairs of brogans. After our last guard mount of the day, we worked on our muskets and accoutrements before going to sleep.

The following day, we worked on ourselves. Chambers knew a negro barber who was brought in to cut our hair and shave our faces.  An hour before we were to assume our posts at the Exchange, we presented ourselves for inspection and were pronounced first rate. From Chambers, we received passes lest the Police Guard stop us.

We arrived and took our places without asking anyone anything. We looked as if we belonged there and we were not questioned by anyone. Indeed, several important-looking people complimented us on our superb martial bearing. We expressed thanks but neither of us cared a fig for their words. We were interested only in "our" ladies and the refreshment table.

Lily and Hortense did appear, each on the arm of very pompous well-liveried gentlemen whose names I did not bother to commit to memory. At least the ladies were gracious enough to introduce us to the gentlemen as their rescuers.

The band struck up some patriotic airs and some people gave the proper speeches. Then the ball began and we stood guard, feasting on many sights and plotting on some real feasting. With so much going on, no one was paying much attention to us. As Hancock's uniform looked better than mine, he braved the crowd to make a frontal assault on the refreshments while the dancing was on. The negro servants in suits working the refreshment tables accepted Hancock's word that he was a colonel and would be taking some food out to the two guards. He was given a large silver tray piled with sandwiches of several types. Somehow, he managed to acquire a bottle of champagne. We ate our fill and Hancock went back for more which was secured in our haversacks.

When all was finished, we said our goodbyes and took our leaves of the ladies. It was well into the night when we returned to our depot. All three of our pards questioned us on any and everything we saw and heard, and ate. From our haversacks we produced enough food that all five of us had a very decent meal.

And now I suffer. I cannot prove that it was something that I ate as Hancock is fit as a fiddle. For whatever reason, my bowels are in revolt and there will be no sleep tonight. It was worth it.